The Quiet Realization: When You Forget How to Be You
I had a moment recently.
It wasn't a dramatic, cinematic masterpiece. No glass shattered, no orchestral swell played in the background. I didn't even hear the world's tiniest violin play to give me my revelation. In fact, it was incredibly quiet.
I finally had time to myself… and realized I had absolutely no idea what to do with it.
It wasn't a lack of options. It was that somewhere along the way, I’d stopped asking myself what I actually liked. What do I like to do? What do I find enjoyable and relaxing? I had no idea.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Ouch… same,”—then this is for you.
The Truth Nobody Prepares You For
When you spend your life being "everything" for "everyone"—the mom, the partner, the employee, the designated problem-solver—you don’t just get tired.
You get disconnected.
You aren't broken. You aren't lost forever. You’re just… out of touch with the person living inside your own skin.
It Happens Slowly (And Then All at Once)
It’s not like you wake up one day and suddenly forget your own name. It’s a slow erosion of the small things:
The Soundtrack: You stop listening to your music because the car is always full of kids' noise or podcasts about "being better." Or you just want quiet before going home to the noise.
The Hobbies: You stop doing things you love because there’s always something more “productive” to do. Or when you start a project, you realize you would much rather go to sleep.
The Choice: You stop choosing yourself because, honestly, it feels like less work to just go with the flow.
And then one day, the house is empty or the to-do list is clear, and you just sit there like: “Okay… now what?”
Survival Mode vs. Joy Mode
If you feel this way, it just means you’ve been focused on survival. And let’s be real: survival doesn’t leave a lot of room for curiosity or self-discovery.
But here’s the good news: You don’t have to become a "whole new person" to feel like yourself again. You just have to reconnect with the one who has been there all along.
Step 1: Start With What Feels Familiar
For me, that meant returning to my first love: cooking.
Now, Sundays are mine. I meal prep, sure—but I do it for the joy of the process, not just the convenience of the week.
I do it for the relaxation of being able to control the environment and be at peace in the kitchen.
Step 2: Try Something New (Even If You Suck At It)
I also picked up crafting. Spoiler alert: I was not a natural.
But I kept going. Now I make cups, shirts, and bags—but my favorite thing is making candles. There’s something about creating with your hands that quiets the "to-do list brain." I didn’t do it to be perfect; I did it just to try.
Pro-Tip: There is a profound freedom in being mediocre at a hobby you enjoy.
Making Space (Not Leftover Time)
I'm talking about intentional space. Not the "five minutes left before bed" space.
Sometimes it’s sitting in my car in the driveway, finishing a song.
Sometimes it’s driving in complete silence just to hear my own thoughts.
My personal favorite: When my sister takes my daughter for "Auntie Time," and I get to just exist.
Walking through a store with a coffee, looking at things I don’t need, with no plan? It sounds small. But it feels massive.
The Hardest Part: Putting Yourself on the List
Learning to show up for yourself the way you show up for others is the real hurdle.
If you’re like me, you’ll move mountains for your people. But when it comes to your own needs? You wait. You delay. You put yourself last until you realize you aren't even on the list anymore.
I’m still working on that part. But I’ve started. And honestly? I’m really enjoying getting to know myself again.
Let’s Be Real...
You can be everything the world needs you to be and still be a person outside of those roles.
You’re allowed joy that isn’t tied to productivity.
You’re allowed time that isn’t "earned."
You’re allowed to rediscover yourself without the side of guilt.
Your Turn: When was the last time you did something just because you wanted to? Not because it was a chore, not because someone asked, but because it simply felt good? Let's talk about it......and then, Start there.
Comments
Post a Comment