Overthinking Is Exhausting: How to Quiet Your Mind and Regain Confidence
I overthink. And not in a cute, quirky way — but in a way where one minor inconvenience will have me question my whole existence. I replay scenarios with many different alternate endings you would think I was a screenwriter!
I can hold the door open for someone, and if they don’t say thank you, my brain immediately clocks in for overtime:
Was my hair a mess?
Did I have something in my teeth?
Did I smell bad?
Did my face do that weird thing it does when I’m trying to be normal?
Never — and I mean never — do I think, “Wow, that person just didn’t have manners.”
No. Obviously it’s me. Clearly this brief, silent interaction is a direct reflection of my worth as a human.
Long sigh.
This is what overthinking does. It takes the smallest, most insignificant moments and turns them into full-blown self-doubt spirals. And while I’d love to say I’ve mastered this, the truth is: I’m a work in progress.
I’ve been actively working on my overthinking when it comes to work, relationships, and everyday life. Some days I float through life unbothered and confident. Other days, I have to literally write down every good quality about myself just to remember that — shockingly — everything is not about me.
If you’ve ever replayed a conversation hours later and convinced yourself you said something wrong, you’re not alone.
So how do I try (keyword: try) to quiet my overthinking mind? Here are three things that help me — sometimes.
Three Ways I Try to Combat Overthinking
1. I Ask: “What’s the Most Logical Explanation?”
When my brain jumps straight to “They didn’t say thank you because I’m the problem,” I pause and force myself to consider other possibilities.
Maybe they were distracted.
Maybe they were lost in thought.
Maybe they simply don’t have great manners.
Overthinking thrives on emotion, not facts. Asking what logically makes sense helps pull me back into reality — even when my inner critic would rather argue its case.
This mindset shift has also made me think more deeply about why I take things so personally and how often my brain assumes the worst before considering the obvious.
2. I Put My Spiral on a Timer (My Favorite Method)
This one is my favorite because it lets me spiral and brings me right back to reality.
I give myself permission to overthink for five minutes. I set a timer and let my mind do what it does best — replay the moment, analyze my tone, question my facial expressions, and briefly consider moving to another city and starting over.
But when the timer goes off? That’s the turning point.
Spiral time is over. Almost immediately, I can think logically again. I realize the moment may not have been about me at all. The person could’ve been distracted, overwhelmed, or simply impolite.
Overthinking hates boundaries, and this gives my thoughts space to exist without letting them take over my entire day.
This approach has also helped me learn how to stop replaying conversations long after they’ve ended.
3. I Write Down Facts — Not Feelings
Feelings are dramatic. Facts are grounding.
When my thoughts tell me “You’re awkward” or “You’re too much,” I counter them with actual facts:
I’m kind
I’m thoughtful
I show up for people
I do my best, even on hard days
Some days I don’t need this list. Other days, I need to write it down like I’m my own motivational speaker. Either way, it reminds me that my worth isn’t defined by one moment, one interaction, or one overthought situation.
A Reminder for Anyone Who Overthinks
Most of us overthink.
Most of us internalize things that were never meant for us.
And most of us are just humans doing the best we can with busy minds and sensitive hearts.
Overthinking doesn’t mean you’re broken — it usually means you care. The goal isn’t to stop caring, but to stop letting your thoughts bully you.
And I’d genuinely love to hear from you.
Do you have any tricks that help you handle overthinking?
Leave a comment and share what works for you. I’m always looking to add more tools to my overthinking survival kit — and chances are, someone else reading this could use your advice too.
Your Gratitude Assignment
I promised to give you this assignment last post and here you are. The next time you catch yourself spiraling, try this. I’m very interested to know if this helped you:
Write down 5 qualities you genuinely like about yourself
Write 3 things you did well this week, no matter how small
Write 1 thing you’re grateful for about who you are, not what you do
I actually wake up everyday and do this assignment to remind me who I am and what I’m made of. Save this list. Come back to it on the days when your mind tries to convince you otherwise.
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